The Annual Bash

 

    It was a simple plan really, find the most beat up bike possible and ride it down the most technical singletrack trail in the area.  We decided on a couple of beach cruisers, one with a flat and no brakes to begin with, and a number of "Wall Mart Specials".   There were twelve people headed to their fate that day, and with every passing moment the collective IQ of the group dropped quite a bit.  Soon many of us had on elaborate disco costumes, ski goggles and the like.  I knew we were in trouble when on person sported a pink kayaking helmet, that realistically, wasn't going to do shit.  Then I realized that he actually was wearing a helmet and most people were not.  That's ok, were still on.  Then we needed help with our mental state & things got sloppy.  Pictures were taken and the brigade was off with a huge CLANK! BANG! CRACK!   Nothing could stop us now, we were headed for our fate. Through the onslaught bikes were tossed off cliffs when they refused to work, and disco superstars dove head first into huge mud puddles.  I myself took the "Chopper Bike" down some stuff that was too steep for my real mountain bike, when the skinny tires would catch on something and spit me off, we would all laugh at the sheer stupidity of it all and keep going.  We never stopped to fix anything except to bang the whole jalopy against the nearest rock and beat it into submission.  When we reached campus and the war was over, three out of the twelve bikes that started the trip were operational.  And everyone was all smiles with only a few scrapes or bruises.  For obvious reasons, The Beater Bash is only attempted once a year.  (I can't wait till next year)